Clippy Exclusive!

#Bloganuary Writing Prompt: Interview a Fictional Character

An Exclusive Interview with Clippy, who in 2007 quietly retired after ten years service as Microsoft’s Office Assistant. He helped many a PC novice write a letter.

Interviewer: Thank you for coming out of retirement to talk with us, Clippy. Your sudden retirement seemed rather abrupt. Are you able to enlighten our audience if anything occurred to hasten it?

Clippy: Well some would say it was a business decision. People were becoming more PC savvy. They didn’t really need help to write letters anymore.

Interviewer: Is it true then that your bosses were having to respond to negative public relations because clients felt they were being patronized whenever you popped up to say “It looks like you are writing a letter?”

Clippy: No way! There are always the haters. If they bothered to look at the menu once in a while they would have found out how to turn me off!

Interviewer: Would you care to comment on rumors that you were given permanent maternity leave?

Clippy: A load of rubbish – a lame attempt to discover a gender reveal. Some tried to settle it by granting me the honorific “Mr.” It didn’t stick. Others said that paper clips were like seahorses, hermaphrodites that could spontaneously reproduce their own young! That one had me laughing myself into a twist.

Interviewer: How have you been spending your time in retirement.

Clippy: Being as incognito as possible. Being a celebrity in the limelight for ten years was more than enough. These days I could be any one of the 500 paper clips in your desk drawer. With the growing advent of paperless work places, my obscurity, thankfully, is even more assured,

Interviewer: Thank you, for your time, Clippy. Let me honor your service with a limerick.

There was a helper called Clippy
Whose help on the PC was quite zippy
We tried a letter, but he said “Let’s do better”
We sacked him because he became drippy!